Sunday, May 23, 2010

disappointed

today i on her account...i juz wanted to help her work pets and play nightclub city..
when i on her nightclub city...i saw she hire a guy which i dun like...her admirer?
jus feel like down...aft tat, i straight click on the guy profile...she did contact wif him still...
my feelings was FUCKING DISAPPOINTED because, she LIED again...
she told me, nv contact wif him anymore...nv thk anymore....and forget everything..
but in her heart, she still loves and likes him, still thk of him...and remember him...
she cant control herself to find him bek...she cant control to forget him...
she is everything which just wanted him to chat wif her and want herself to get loved from him..
although she say no, but i noe what;s on her mind and what's she thinking...
i reli disappointed..shud i leave it, or shud or take action?
if take action, what shud i do?
break? or giv chance again? or wait her to explain?
my feeling now is totally disappointed and wanted to choose BREAK...
i dun care she find him bek after break, becoz my heart totally broken and hopeless on her..
she is just SUCH UNTRUSTED GAL...good looking gal without a TRUST, without a MATURE thinking...what for i wan her to stay?
i will reconsider everything..i wun SAD anymore...i promise to myself..

Saturday, April 10, 2010

11/4/2010 5am

from this moment...
i forget everything now...
i reli will...trust me plz ...
i will find a better 1...
i will start better relation to evaluate myself...
i will giv my best to my next gf...
i would sacrifice for them...i will sacrifice for my loves 1...
i will giv them freedom as who they r....
i wun control them anymore...coz i adi very sked...
i tired of everything...i sad to see what isit now..
so frm now onwards, the memories ended...
i will less on9...less gaming...to prevent from sadness occur...
i will hang out more, to know more of u gals...
i aso hope to know what gals thinking...^^
im single and available...
i will be happy always, be bek my character...
learn snooker, and do more exercise...
i goin to keep fit, diet and make myself change!
guys...im BEK!!

tear drops from eyes and heart..sudenly

was alone at home, i cant control...my tears jus drop and memories all came out again..
thought myself forget everything, but is not..im jus lieing myself and every1..
no1 tok to me, no1 share wif me and no1 accompany chat about it...
i keep it all to myself...
i cry it out, to feel better.
thought of wan bek her, but she adi in love wif the guy...
i most unhappy is what i did tat makes her get to know the guy and now, Fall in Love..
2010, new year...is the worst year i ever had...
the unforgetable things will always in my mind and heart...

im so suffer, who can reli tok to me...
i reli nid some1 now...
my appetite reli gone, and makes me have 1 meal per day which not finish...
i gave alot things to her, but in the end...jus him, can finish the relation...
tis i can forever put in heart, and is my biggest enemy...
yea, aso its my challenge...coz i did think is my fault, her fault and HIs fault..
she said she jz got feel towards him, but act she jus lieing herself, lieng me...
she waiting for his action, and wat i hope is...he faster take action...hope tis can start earlier and let her try the most experience 1 now...

im reli suffering...everyday wake up, adi wanted to on9 to see any of her blogs or fb update..
i everytime feel nervous to see her updated things...
but alot of disappointing words comes frm her..
i noe we adi break, but im lidat coz i reli suffering...
i wanted to know everything exactly...
but i cant...jus to c any updates...
this is wat i wanted to say out...i hope i can get better afterall...
i cant brief, is very hard to brief...
she's happy, coz she found her loves 1...im not, i oni loves her..
guys, shud i forget her? i nid opinions...

the 1 i would be

if i were ppl's bf again, i would be the best bf
i would giv her the best, i would giv her what she wants,
i would protect her, loves her, sayang her...
coz i experienced be4 adi...afraid adi....
now i regret adi, but its late jor...
but today i feel much better after knowing im not the 1 tat important anymore...
act is good too, i can let go ma...hehe

my bad temper would always occur, beware guys...
but i will change too..
nowdays i always tok less, make u guys worry...
but i tell u all, dun worry...i adi giv up everything...
unless there's miracle which is impossible...haha
i will stay single...till the day i found a gal which is my loves 1...xD

if i would be again ppl's bf, i will giv them the best romance and unforgetable memories..
bring them social and everything...
past is past, u would see the new me...to all my frens...dun worry me...
u wil c i adi changed once u saw me...xD
thx for being apart of my frens for so many years..around 10+ years d...haha

noon's life today

its 5.30pm now, and i woke up at 6am...
haven eat anything from morning till now..
no appetite ler, swt swt...nvm, can take it as diet too..xD
2pm went to fetch fren and went infi...foong and cheeleong snookering,
me n lemon watching...
there's a fight too at the place, duno wat happening...
but i thk is childish ba, teenagers are lidat

while i was watching snookering, sudenly got a call...
i wondering isit...wahlau i was shock..
Veron's called me...swt...
she ask wher m i , i told her at infi and she ask me tonite accompany her...
she have the same problem wif me...i was shock coz she ask me go out...
i juz feeling weird coz my feelings now are same wif her...
i tell her will let her noe later....

the infi malay gal, so swt...
giv me a name 'ayam katik'...which means
PENDEK...wtf...now almost all workers thr noe my name liao...sei mira...bangau betul la u...
she's cute and pretty, sexy too ...hahah...all guys saw her reli fainted...
i tok abit to her, she like feel screaming and everything, duno wats happening...haha
then we bek at 5pm...
while on the way, i pass jusco...
sudenly memories come out frm my mind again...swt...
i told myself not to thk...then i juz like nth adi...
i juz feel, normally my saturday is not lidat...
jus feel lonely, and not use to it...=(
tats the noon's life of me...^^

Friday, April 9, 2010

morning everyone

wake up at 6 went to 'hang ching'...
so long nv meet my cousin sis ..around 4 years...she juz bek frm sg
hmm, veli weird the feels...once thr say wa long time no c...
'i heard my lougung say u gt gf jor wor'....i jus smile...
keep ask me about her...i aso duno how to answer tim lor...swt
7 start to go kangsar road till 9am....and go near sunway thr pray grandma...
i wish to blessed by them ...coz tis ching min i got alot of wishes...
can be said, the whole ching ming, tis time is the most wishes...xD

so tiring after bek, no appetite to eat...
nvm la, make it as diet...
today's mood is much better...
jus hope it can get better day by day...
just like forget all unhappy things...
i wish i could do it!! gogoggo!!

at last

today is my last day toking bout her...
at las, she delete our 2 years+ memories photos...=(
is ok, coz new life shud be lidat...as long she get happier, whatever aso not important
nowdays saw her so happy, i adi fong sum...no more tears, no more stress, no more unhappiness
wish her always could be like now...hehe...
see bek those pics, reli thk bek alot of things...but i shudn't say anymore...
its past...

everyday wake up, like lost smth very important...what isit ??is her...
las time, wake up, happily on9 do whatever aso happy...coz im still wif her
but when it comes now, it totally different...
i muz be more independent adi...cannot rely on her anymore...
because she found her loves 1, goin KL sooner...

after a week evaluation of myself, my bad attitude was eveything out frm my mind
bad temper, simply scold, siu hei, *dam lam yan*, cant control n many more
cant list down ler...so geng hor...coz i still haven face things i shud ...i haven start my job...its lidat..i adi realize everything...jus wan to tell 'YOU', sorry yea^^
coz tis almost 3 years, adi happened alot things till its uncountable...
what past is past, u shud look forward yea....and same goes to me rite...
i will not cry as i promised, will stay happily=)

ok, after today , i reli would not say things about her anymore la...
hope my frens around me wun worry me again la..
i try to be the funniest 1 again, the talkatives 1, and the playful 1...
counting down to singapore...if there's some incovenience causes, would jus stay bek ipoh..
i will stay strong!!!....wish me luck yea